Honour-based abuse and violence

Have you been affected by, or do you want to know more about, honour-based abuse and violence?

Honour-based abuse and violence is when a member of your family or social group controls you or punishes your behaviour in order to protect or defend their cultural and religious beliefs in the name of ‘honour’.

Honour-based abuse and violence includes:

forced marriage (including child marriage)
domestic abuse and violence
harassment
being held against your will or taken somewhere you don’t want to go, including out of the country
isolation from friends, family and the outside world
female genital mutilation (FGM)
virginity testing
enforced abortion

You can be affected by honour-based abuse and violence at any age, and it often begins early in the family home. You’re more likely to experience it if you’re female, but it can happen to men and boys too.

It can be a deeply embedded form of coercive control, built on expectations about your ‘acceptable’ and ‘unacceptable’ behaviours. Your partner, ex-partner or a member of your family is usually the one doing this to you. Sometimes they might be in another country.

The UK sees the highest number of victims from South Asian, Middle Eastern, North African and East African communities and also from Muslim, Sikh, Hindu, Orthodox Jewish and traveller communities.

There are no circumstances that would mean honour-based abuse and violence is acceptable. Protecting cultural traditions is not a reason for someone to abuse or hurt you.

How you might be feeling

Honour-based abuse and violence can affect you in different ways. As well as coping with the effects of physical violence, you might be feeling:

frightened to say no
scared of saying or doing the wrong thing
worried about what will happen to you or to others if you get help
isolated or overwhelmed

You might be going through a range of emotions. It’s completely normal to feel this way, and however you’re feeling is valid. You may feel that there’s no way out of your situation, but you’re not alone. Help is available. We’re here for you.

Get the help you need

If you’d like more information or support, contact us now.

As well as receiving help from us, you can also get support from other organisations and charities. See below or search our directory.

Karma Nirvana – A national UK charity that runs the free honour-based abuse and violence helpline. Call 0800 5999 247. It also has information and the latest news about honour-based abuse and violence.

The Halo Project – A national project that supports victims of honour-based violence, forced marriages and FGM by providing advice and support to victims. Call the specialist support hub on 01642 683 045.

Freedom Charity – UK charity offering help and support to victims of honour-based violence, forced marriage and FGM. Call the 24-hour helpline on 0845 607 0133.

Greater Manchester Domestic Abuse Helpline – For anyone over the age of 16 who’s experiencing, or has previously experienced, domestic abuse and violence including honour-based abuse and violence, forced marriage and FGM. Call 0800 254 0909.

Refuge – The largest UK domestic abuse organisation for women offering help to victims to rebuild their lives and overcome different forms of violence and abuse. Call the 24-hour helpline on 0808 2000 247.

The Guardian Project – A free Greater Manchester service run by the charity Nestac that provides care and support for women and girls who are at risk from, or have been victims of, female genital mutilation (FGM). Call guardiansafeguard@nestac.org.uk.

NHS – You can ask your GP, health visitor, midwife or any other healthcare professional for help if you’re being pressured into having FGM or if you’ve had it and would like help from a specialist NHS gynaecologist or FGM service.

Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) – The government’s joint Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office (FCDO) and Home Office unit that operates both in the UK and overseas to help to British nationals, including dual nationals, with forced marriage. Call the helpline on 020 7008 0151 or email fmu@fcdo.gov.uk.

Gov.uk – If you’re abroad and are being forced into a marriage, you, or someone you trust, should contact the nearest British embassy, high commission or consulate.

Legal aid – Check if you qualify for help to meet legal costs, for example to help you with getting a Forced Marriage Civil Protection Order.

How to get help safely

Before getting help, check whether the phone, computer or tablet you’re using can be seen by anyone else – especially by the person or people you want to talk about. This might be because they’re in the same room as you or because you think they’re monitoring what you do on your device.

Refuge has advice available in English, Urdu, Spanish and Polish on how to secure your technology and recognise the signs of technology abuse. And the honour-based abuse charity Karma Nirvana also has practical guidance to keep safe online if you think your online activity is being tracked.

If you’re worried about your privacy when seeking help, or worried about the privacy of your device, here are three things you can do:

Memorise key phone numbers to call when it’s safe to do so, for example Karma Nirvana’s helpline is 0800 5999 247

Use the ‘quick exit’ button if the website has one, this will close the web page quickly

Call or access websites on a device you know is safe, for example a trusted friend’s phone

If you’re in immediate danger, always call 999. If you have a hearing or speech impairment, use the textphone service 18000 or text on 999 if you’ve pre-registered with the emergency SMS service.

If you call 999 from a mobile phone but are unable to speak, you can use Silent Solution by pressing 55 when prompted. Once you press 55, the operator will transfer the call to the relevant police force as an emergency.

If you’ve been harmed or are at risk of being harmed, or if someone you know has been harmed or is at risk, report this to Greater Manchester Police (GMP) by calling 101 or via the live chat function on the website.

If it’s safer, you can go to your local police station and talk to a police officer in person. GMP will provide a safe and comfortable environment for you. Find your nearest police station or local policing team here.

GMP encourages victims of honour-based abuse and violence to get help from them. The police will respect your wishes and confidentiality, establish lines of communication and provide you with appropriate support and guidance via a number of support agencies.

If you’d like to report anonymously, contact Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111. Crimestoppers is a charity that’s entirely independent of police.

Forced marriage

Everyone has the right to make their own decisions about when and who they marry.

A forced marriage is when you don’t or can’t consent to the marriage, but are forced into it by your family or community.

Forced marriage is illegal in the UK. Under the Forced Marriage Act 2007, you can apply to designated courts for a Forced Marriage Civil Protection Order. Or you can ask someone to do this on your behalf.

These orders can be used to prevent you from being forced into a marriage or to protect you if a forced marriage has already taken place. If anyone breaches the order, they might be arrested.

Female genital mutilation (FGM)

Female genital mutilation (FGM) is when female genitals are deliberately cut, injured or changed, but there’s no medical reason for this to be done.

You might hear FGM described as female circumcision, female cutting, Sunna, gudniin, halalays, tahur, megrez or khitan.

It’s usually carried out when you’re young, between infancy and the age of 15, and often before your puberty starts.

FGM is illegal in the UK and is child abuse. It’s very painful and can seriously harm you both physically and mentally. It can cause long-term problems with sex, childbirth and mental health.

You have the right to control what happens to your body, and you have the right to refuse FGM.