Rape and sexual assault

Have you been affected by, or do you want to know more about, rape and sexual assault?

Rape is when someone penetrates your vagina, anus or mouth with their penis without your consent. If consent wasn’t given for sex to happen, regardless of the relationship between the people involved, it’s rape.

There are no circumstances where it would be okay for someone to force you to have sex.

Someone intentionally removing a condom during penetrative sex without your knowledge (stealthing) is also rape.

Assault by penetration is when someone sexually assaults you by penetrating your vagina, anus or mouth with another part of their body or another object. This is as serious as rape and will be treated similarly to rape if taken to court.

Sexual assault is when someone intentionally grabs or touches you in a sexual way, you’re forced to kiss someone or you’re made to do something else sexual against your will. This includes sexual touching of any part of another person’s body, whether they’re wearing clothes or not.

Sexual harassment is when someone carries out unwanted sexual behaviour towards you that makes you feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated.

In England and Wales, the law regards the following as sexual assault:

indecent exposure
upskirting (taking a picture or video under your clothes without your permission)
any sexual harassment that involves physical contact

There are different types of rape and terms used, see more information below.

How you might be feeling

If you’ve been raped or sexually assaulted, you must remember that it’s not your fault. It can happen to anyone and could be committed by anyone.

If it’s only just happened, please see below for what to do next.

Rape and sexual assaults are traumatic experiences that can affect you both physically and emotionally. Everyone reacts differently. You might experience some of the emotions below, or you might feel nothing at all.

Whatever you feel, your response is valid, and it’s really important to know that you’re not alone and that help and support is available.

You might:

feel numb and in shock
be tearful, angry or irritable
feel ashamed or even guilty about what happened
feel depressed or suicidal
have flashbacks
have difficulty focusing or sleeping

These are all normal reactions and might last a long time.

It can take a lot of courage to talk about what happened. You might only just be coming to terms with your experience, which could’ve happened weeks, months or even years ago.

Regardless of the time since the incident took place, or whether or not you reported it, there are services available that’ll help you to cope with the impact of the crime and move forward.

Get the help you need

If you’d like more information or support, contact us now.

As well as receiving help from us, you can also get support from other organisations and charities. See below or search our directory.

St Mary’s Sexual Assault Referral Centre – Available at St Mary’s Centre, ISVAs are support workers who’ll assist you after an assault, including supporting you if your case has been taken up by the police or goes to court. Everyone who attends St Mary’s Centre is offered ISVA support.

Independent Sexual Violence Advisors (ISVAs) – Specific advice for those whose loved ones have died abroad by murder or manslaughter, including getting support from the Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office and how to find your nearest British embassy or consulate.

Your GP – You can speak to your GP about rape and sexual assault, no matter when it occurred. Your GP will advise you on the best course of action and refer you to relevant services.

Your personal network – If you’ve been a victim of rape or sexual assault, don’t suffer in silence. Even if you don’t want to report it to the police or contact any organisations, tell a trusted friend or family member about it, and use them for support.

Rape Crisis England and Wales – Charity working to end rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment and all other forms of sexual violence. Call the 24-hour rape and sexual abuse support line on 0808 500 2222.

We Are Survivors – Male (including trans and non-binary individuals) survivors of sexual abuse, rape and sexual exploitation across Greater Manchester can find support, a safe space and more information from this charity based in Salford. Call the 24-hour helpline on 0808 500 2222 or email support@survivorsmanchester.org.uk.

What to do if the rape or sexual assault has just happened

If this has happened to you, it’s important to get medical help as soon as possible to check for sexually transmitted infections, injury or pregnancy.

If the rape or sexual assault happened recently (within seven days), you can have a medical examination carried out at St Mary’s Sexual Assault Referral Centre to collect forensic evidence. You don’t have to have a forensic examination. However, it can give useful evidence if you choose to report the crime to the police and the case goes to court.

If you’d like to have a forensic examination, try to keep the clothes you were wearing at the time and don’t wash them. Avoid showering if possible. Also try not to eat, drink, smoke, brush your teeth or go to the toilet.

You can report a rape or sexual assault by calling 999 soon after the crime. Always call 999 if you’re in danger.

If the rape or sexual assault happened a long time ago, you can report this to the police by calling 101.

Different types of rape and terms used

Date rape isn’t a specific offence but you might hear the term used to describe rape when the victim and perpetrator know each other, for example if they’re friends or are dating. The victim may be drugged and unable to give consent.

It doesn’t matter if you know the person who raped you – sex without consent is rape.

Marital rape – consent can never be assumed, even in a marriage. Being married doesn’t give your partner any right to force you into having sex or to have sex with you without your consent. If this happens, it’s rape, and your partner can be prosecuted.

Statutory rape is a term used to describe the rape of children under the age of consent. In the UK, a child under the age of 13 cannot legally consent to any sexual activity. The age of legal consent in the UK is 16.

Gang rape is when someone is raped by a group of people.

Oral rape is when someone penetrates your mouth with their penis without your consent.

Digital rape describes someone’s penetration of your anus or vagina with their finger(s) without your consent. In legal terms, this is classed as assault by penetration but will be treated similarly to rape if taken to court.

Anal rape is when a person penetrates your anus with their penis without your consent. If someone penetrates your anus with another part of their body or object, this is assault by penetration. In the courts this will be treated very similarly to rape.

What is consent?

Giving sexual consent means you agree to be involved in, or take part in, any kind of sexual activity. And you have the freedom and capacity to make that decision. This means you’re not forced, coerced, tricked or scared into giving consent.

Consent can never be assumed, even in a relationship or marriage. Sex without your consent is rape.

You may not be able to give your consent if you were under the influence of alcohol or drugs, didn’t understand what was happening or were asleep. If you don’t have the capacity to give your consent, it cannot be assumed.

You can change your mind at any point. If at first you wanted to have sex but then decided against it, that’s okay. No one has the right to force you to continue. If they don’t stop, then what they’re doing is sexual assault or rape.

The age of consent in the UK is 16, and a child under the age of 13 cannot legally consent to any sexual activity.

I’m worried about reporting rape or sexual assault to the police

Many people worry about reporting rape and sexual assault to the police because they:

had been drinking alcohol or taking drugs at the time
are in a relationship with or know the person who attacked them
have had sex with the person who attacked them before
had been kissing or touching the person before the attack
were with someone of the same sex
didn’t say ‘no’ or didn’t fight back
can’t really remember it properly

If you’ve been raped, it’s never your fault – no matter the circumstances.

The police will take reports of rape seriously. You can contact us for support throughout the reporting process and to discuss your options. You don’t have to report the crime to the police if you don’t want to. We’ll be here to support you regardless of whether you choose to report.

What to do if you’re being sexually harassed

Rape Crisis England and Wales has more information about sexual harassment, including how it’s defined in law, what to do if it’s happening at work and where to get help.